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Kate Hewett: a poem

Einstein in the patent office

After the layoffs, we talk about it a lot, the

thing that should've been obvious but wasn't

always. We decide we need a shorthand for

it, something shiny and eye-catching and

optimistic. Though there are other options –

Frank O'Hara writing whole books on his

lunch break, for example – we settle

on "Einstein in the patent office", which is proof

that, despite all evidence to the contrary, we just

can't help but believe ourselves to be Very Important.

We imagine Einstein clocking in, filing paperwork,

getting yelled at by men with bad ideas, and we

are soothed. I read in a magazine about a fashion

trend they're calling "stealth wealth", which is

basically having and spending lots of money, but

in a way which is only discernible to other very

rich people. And, let me tell you, once you know

it exists, you start to see it everywhere.

Kate Hewett (she/her) is a queer poet, writer, live arts organiser and customer service advisor based in the North of England. She is the co-founder of Hand Mirror and writes about queerness, always. She is on Instagram at @kateleahhewett and online here:

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